In a moment of confusion, I am certain that I have finally rested my head on some real idea. My mind is made up and I feel happy for an instant knowing there is certainty in my life. And then I see you. You smile at me and I know it means nothing. You’ve confided in me how women mistake your kind nature for flirting. So I know it all means nothing. But still. When you smile, and go out of your way for me, it changes things. Not in the way most might think. Not in a way that would be monumental or even bothersome to anyone but me. Just the same though, it changes things. My one single idea that I had only moments ago locked in as certain is now thrown back up in the air, degreated to mean nothing. A small jesture from nothing but a friend makes me question a thought and wonder if it is, or really ever had been, right. Back in the silence of my apartment I come back to where I had been only days before. With out a solid idea of life, or even where it’s going. I only have a solid idea of where I’ve been and taking the physical state of that away, I’m not even all the sure about the mentallity of it. So it’s in the present I remain, not too sure of much else.


One thought on “Crazy…

  1. Pretty reflective. Moments like this is not too different from finding yourself motivated to contact an ex (beyond drunk dialing). You know things and you want things and you know you wouldn’t mind certain things from a certain person. You also know that before this moment, you knew what you knew. Did that knowledge disappear? Or is it still there after the blinding glare of the present moment??

    I have found that like the rocks obscured by fog on the sea, still there waiting on those who have forgotten it. Though you don’t see it straight away, you know it is there. Alter your course accordingly.

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