What’s the difference between walking away and running away? It’s a matter of giving up, or moving on. When I moved back to my ever so strange state in which I currently live, I couldn’t help but constantly wonder if I’d given up on my life in North Carolina, or if I was simply moving on. Maybe a little of both? I’d worked so hard for everything that I had in NC that simply putting everything I own into boxes didn’t feel right. Was I giving up too easily? Would I regret this later? How hard are you supposed to hang on until simply it becomes not worth it? I wondered that for months and months, and even weeks when I was still in NC and couldn’t see the answer. I could feel the fork in the road stabbing into my back, but I couldn’t see either road being the wise one to take. And even now I don’t know that I really know the answers to the questions that haunted me for so long. But even though I had said “the only way out is through” I’m starting to wonder if that’s even true.
School is driving me crazy, and in this small mid western town I just don’t feel like I fit. And when I tell this to friends they ask me “Why are you still there if you’re not happy?” and I shrug. So I go back to my original delima. If I were to take time off from school and move somewhere else would I be giving up and running away? Or would I be walking away toward something better? Would it make me a coward? Or a wise person? Is finishing school really worth me being mildly miserable for a whole year of my life?