Now I’m thinking…


I’m not sure what to say. I’m not sure what to write about. I’m not even all that sure that people are reading this. I mean I’m aware when I haven’t blogged in awhile. I get this nagging voice in the back of my head saying something like “you need to go blog, so maybe people will read” Maybe they will… Sometimes though I’m not even sure what to really write about. Life has been so insane lately, maybe I should just put my journal on here. Really bare all my messyness to the world.

Here’s something… I think I’m afraid of becoming the person I never wanted to be. When I was younger I would do things simply to do them, to make me different, more experienced. Whether it was sleep away camp for five weeks in junior high, or studying abroad in high school.  All of these things (amongst a few others) kept me from really being normal. And that’s okay. But these days, I’m feeling just a bit of that. Normal. Here I am humming and hawing about it, when a few years ago I would have killed for anything that felt normal. Now I’m just bored. And it will pass. I mean I’m ALMOST done with college, if that’s at all possible. I mean it’s still a year away from being done, but when you’ve been in college as long as I have, one year isn’t too far. Well I’ll stop boring you with my pathetic pity party. On a happier note though, I’m off to see Tangled tonight. I haven’t been to the movies in so long, so that should be great.

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2 thoughts on “Now I’m thinking…

  1. Well, I wish that I could think of something witty and clever about what you are feeling as you prepare to become ‘normal’. You are still going to be a unique person, so I don’t know what it is that troubles you. Maybe you want something to make you stand out as opposed to being different, you know?

    I mean, when I was being ‘different’, it really wasn’t being different to me. I don’t know why I wanted to do the things I did other than wanting to DO them, feel me? It is only in hindsight that I really see that I was a different kind of cat. Sometimes being aware that you are different can be your ego trying to make you more noticeable, not ‘different’.

    As far as your readers go… Frances Lee, I have already told you that I enjoy when you post. But you do post infrequent and the dashboard will bury your occasional entries. When I see your name, though, I read and try to comment. And you know this, maaaannn!

  2. Relax. I am reading it now. Mark and I can’t be the only ones.

    Do me a favor and don’t become that awful person you don’t want to be once you’re out of school. I’ve seen it happen to far too many people.

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