I’ve always dreamed of living in New York city. I’ve never been, but I’ve always heard people affirm my suspicions “You would so belong in New York” (I could be wrong). Well I’ve lived in Mexico, I’ve lived in Spain, North Carolina, and Missouri. And now that I’m about to graduate, I’m so excited that I can go anywhere. I will the have the degree… which is supposedly the golden ticket. So since the beginning of the semester I’ve known that I had to apply to graduate, fill out forms, whatever. Well, tonight in my desperate procrastination to put off homework for a little while longer, I filled out the form. I applied to graduate. I felt great about it. Like finally applying to graduate was sort of making it real. I’m graduating. Well… lately when people ask me what I want to do after school I say “I’m thinking New York or Atlanta.” Granted. They didn’t ask me where I wanted to move, they asked me what I wanted to do. Well. To be honest. I have no idea. But I know wherever I end up, I’ll figure out what I want to do then. I’ve always kind of worked that way.
I keep telling my mother that if the items in my apartment don’t fit in my car, I’m not taking them with me. Well tonight she finally asked the logical question. So how will you live without a bed, or dresser? I told her my plans to simply find a furnished room somewhere and make it work that way.
Saying you’re going to find a furnished room somewhere and actually finding one are two different things. I understand that. Well. I started glancing over craigslist shared rooms secton for New York, and suddenly decided to post my own add. I explained that I needed a furnished room somewhere in or around New York city. And then I posted it. And as I hit enter to send out my post to the world wide web, my heart begin to race. Saying was going to do this feels completely different than actually taking steps to doing it. Even now my hearts still racing and I’m beyond excited. And honest god, I don’t think I’ve really felt this way since I applied to be a foreign exchange student, and I was sixteen then.
Hell New York could be a bad idea. I could mess us. It will be hard (but as I’ve learned ‘starting over’ anywhere is hard). But like I told my brother the other day, there is no fail there’s only try. And I have to look at it that way.
Even if it aint all it seems, I’ve got a pocket full of dreams 🙂