September 1st, 2011
I studied abroad in highschool. And in one of the orientations before I actually went to another country, they showed me a diagram of what living abroad would be like. At first everything would be amazing, and new, and so cool, and great. But then things would suck for all the same reasons they were great, all the differences I once loved, I would come to hate. Then, eventually things would even out. And just like they said, that was pretty much how my year abroad went. Since then I’ve applied that same concept to anywhere new that I go.
With that said, I think I’m starting to come off of my Austin high. I mean I love all the food options, all the stores, the style, the coolness. All of it. But. There’s times where I get nervous. Really nervous. And I start thinking I’ll never find a job. I’ll start thinking that all of this was a stupid mistake. That I should have found a job before I moved. Essentially I just get really down on myself, when really there’s no need. The funny thing though that I’ve come to realize lately, is that it will all pass. I will get a job. And it’s way too soon to know whether or not this is or is not going to work. Hell. I know this is going to work. I wouldn’t have moved here if I didn’t think it could all work.
It’s just so hard being alone here. I mean yeah my brother lives here, and that’s all well and good. But still, I have to build my own life, with my own people. Simply existing in my apartment is hard. So I go out into the world. I grab a drink at a bar. I go to the bookstore. But at the end of the day I walk back into my apartment not knowing anyone that I didn’t already know when I left it in the first place.
So I’m just going to jump in and do my best. Join book clubs, running groups, interest groups all in all. I have to. Because I didn’t move here to sit alone in my apartment. Really though, it’s all just in the mean time.